Hi Manatee. I love your blog! I’m Kate, and I have depression. Last week, I almost committed suicide. I wanted to die so badly, and it scared the pudding out of me. I started counseling and antidepressants today. I’m a Freshman in college and I’m dealing with missing class and having to postpone getting work done, and it’s adding to the stress and anxiety I already have. I don’t know what to do. I want to keep pushing through my schoolwork, but right now all I want to do is cry.
Hello Kate. I love you and your blog too!
First off, let me tell you how happy I am that you did not succeed, sweetheart. I am so happy that you are here, that I get to speak to you. It has made my day.
What you are going through is probably one of the hardest things people ever have to do, and I admire you for getting this far. I hope you realise how huge it is that you are here, with me, now, when things have been so hard for you. You are so strong, even when it doesn’t feel like it. No one knows how strong they are, until they have no choice but being strong, like you are now.
I think it would be a good idea for us to come up with an action plan for you. Have you spoken to your teachers yet about what is going on with you? Many teachers understand and have protocols in place for students with an illness, and I am sure they discuss options with you. Send an email to them, and give yourself a great big pat on the back for being such a champion.
Secondly, I am so proud of you for getting counseling and antidepressants. It is such a hard step to take, and things can only get better from here. Work closely with your doctor to make sure your medication is doing good, and don’t be afraid to change if things aren’t getting better. You deserve the best.
I know it is a bit of a hard push right now, but you’re doing everything right. You are seeking treatment, and pushing on. You are doing amazing. I wish I could give you a big glass of juice and a gold star and a big hug because I am so proud of you.
I wish I had something better to offer you in terms of the crying, but I don’t. Tell some people close to you what you are going through, if you can, and keep going. Keep your fluids up, and know that this too will pass.
I am so happy to know you, Kate. You are beautiful and smart and strong, and the world is better for having you in it.
I love you lots. May all your days be as wonderful as you are.